


Fall From Grace (Better to Rule in Hell)

by cauldronofdoom



Series: Living with the Mob [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: F/M, dicipline snobbery, life and times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-20
Updated: 2012-08-20
Packaged: 2017-11-12 13:12:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/491409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cauldronofdoom/pseuds/cauldronofdoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's young, but that doesn't mean she doesn't know what she wants. There's something to be said for rising and falling on your own wings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fall From Grace (Better to Rule in Hell)

**Author's Note:**

> This is not intended to be character bashing, it's just that there's a missunderstanding and it's told from only one character's POV. Please, if you think I'm treating a character unfairly, take a look at the end notes first. There is a reason.
> 
> Also: Jan is not in the MCU, and I have not suddenly aquired comics knowledge. I'm taking her characterization from EMH instead.

Anthony Edward Stark was Jan’s hero. 

She was barely nine when she met him, already eleven and smart as a whip. Some of the other kids were smart too, like Tiberius Stone, but not like Tony (he’d insisted, and she’d swooned). She had a flair for colour and mixing outfits, and Tony had sincerely complimented her on it.

“I need a stylist and detailed instructions for the shower before I’m even presentable.” He’d said, and she’d laughed. Then he’d talked about what he was doing that he was always such a mess, and Jan was fascinated. She didn’t see the appeal of the mechanical, not really, but when Tony compared systems in a car to body systems she’d fallen in love for the first time. With biology.

She’d always considered Tony a hero for introducing her to it, though.   
*  
He’d graduated three years early, when Jan was just thirteen. Her parents weren’t quite in the same circles as his, so she hadn’t actually said more than a handful of words to him since that first time they’d talked. She’d gone to his science show, though, and had been very impressed with his robot. Tony was creating life, an idea she was fascinated with. She’d devoured every resource she could get her hands on about body systems, plants, and ecosystems, and she really wanted to discuss science with him again. No one else would talk ‘smart’ with her. Being a girl, being excitable, and being young all worked against her. 

She’d wanted to graduate early too. She talked with her classmates, and already knew she could do it. She was smarter than them. Her parents, though, didn’t seem to understand. “Janet, dear, you won’t have any time for your little friends and your designs if you take that elective! I know you’re trying, dear, but why don’t you just take art instead?”

She took art, and drama, and convinced her parents that biology was the easiest science, and that was why she took it. She deliberately fudged some of her work so she only got a low A, even if she was actually the best in the class. Her teacher finally cornered her about it, and she’d ended up tearfully revealing her fears that she would never get to study biology like she wanted, and would be forced into fashion. “And I like fashion, I do! It’s interesting, and I’m good at it, but I like biology more.” 

Her teacher, the sweet woman, had dried her tears. Then she’d hatched a plot where Jan would come in once a week for ‘tutoring’. The lady had baldly lied to her parents, saying that Jan was struggling with new concepts and needed the extra time after school on Wednesday (because she had dance Tuesday and Thursday, drama Monday, and weekends were given over to junior pageants and modeling). Her friends had made faces, but Jan was happy. They were nice enough, but they were all obsessed with clothes and makeup and boys. Jan understood what they fretted over on an instinctual level. She didn’t have to try every combination in her wardrobe, she knew what worked well together. She didn’t fret over ‘appropriateness’, having a knack for picking the exact thing. She never showed up over or under-dressed, even when everyone else had wondered over her choice before leaving. 

The tutoring, though, was Jan’s favourite part of the week. They’d gone beyond the edges of the course within the first month, and soon they were gleefully geeking out over scientific journals together. Jan hid her borrowed university magazines inside the fashion rags her parents bought, and developed the habit of going to the public library. Her parents had been confused and concerned for a bit, but she’s assured them that she was just looking over their fashion selection. She did, but she also checked out as many books on nature as she could, as well as things like the Idiot’s Guide for things like physics and chemistry. 

Sometimes she felt jealous of Tony, who was fully supported in studying what he wanted. Then she remembered that he was orphaned at just fifteen, and felt awful.   
*  
She saw him occasionally at society events, but was never able to get close to him. She wanted nothing more than to talk about science, but he was always surrounded by older kids and drinking, and she could never get his attention anymore. 

He’d been her hero for over four years now, but she was starting to wonder if he was worth the regard.

In the summer, though, he seemed more put together. They’d chatted, for just a moment at some family ‘friend’s wedding, but then he’d seen some of the group he’d hung out with months before. His face had closed down, and he’d all but fled, despite being incredibly polite to Jan.

She’d gone back to the gossip pages then, and been appalled with all he’d done the last year, from the fall to the climb. He was back at MIT for summer classes, she read, and was happy. Those linked to his name in disgrace were back home, not hanging out with him. She felt slightly possessive of him, and it was good to know he did deserve to be known as a hero, even if only to her.  
*  
High school had continued its unchanging slog, but her love of Wednesdays never faltered. Her teacher had insisted that she had enough background to help her in any subject, and it was never hard to feign enough difficulty with the required math courses to keep up the pretense. She hung out with other girls that she suspected also hid their intelligence, dated jocks she only wished were hiding intelligence somewhere, and got a reputation for being sweet by being kind to the nerds and gently stopping any bullying she saw. 

It was almost anticlimactic to finally graduate. She’d gotten into a university far enough away that she’d have to move, and she was almost giddy with delight. She didn’t have to worry about her parents showing up in her room or going through her stuff if she didn’t live at home any more.

She felt like those kids in the commercials with drug problems, just over frogs and bugs. 

She was getting a BA in fashion design, of course, but there were other requirements too. For her science elective, she’d picked biology, as usual. Her teacher, Professor McCoy, was brilliant. She loved his lectures, his passion and his subject. She felt a thrill when she realized she could sit in Quad with a biology textbook and read, and no one cared! She could excel as much as she wanted, because her parents had no access to her grade. They also didn’t know she’d picked the class biology majors took, not the one for people who needed to pass their requirement.

What she really fell in love with, though, was his lab TA. Henry (“You can call me Hank, if you’d like.”) Pym was blonde and gorgeous, passionate about bugs, very, very intelligent, and sweet. All these years she’d vaguely considered seriously going after Tony after she graduated, but she found all the thoughts of blue eyes and dark hair that she’d focussed on for years to avoid giving in to the urgings of boys she’d dated for no other reason than to shut the rest up were replaced with green and blonde. 

It was much more like what she felt for biology than what she felt for Tony, and she was finally able to separate hero worship from love. She showed up at all of his office hours, clutching some journal or theory, and they talked. She fetched him coffee when she knew he’d been up all night and forced him to eat. Professor McCoy seemed to approve, if they way he gave her OneCard access it shouldn’t have had said anything.

Hank didn’t seem to notice, but she was willing to wait. He couldn’t stay oblivious to her forever, could he?  
*  
Things finally came to a head at the end of the Winter Term. She’d finished her portfolio early and had put enough effort into the rest of her classes (only three this semester) that she didn’t have to do the last-minute cramming so many others were doing. She’d paced herself, with the promise of continuing to talk to Hank if she didn’t have to scramble. At the end of one visit, where she’d been fetching anything and everything Hank wanted while he’d fiddled with microscopes and chatted, he’d asked why she wasn’t busy studying.

“I know my coursework already. And I finished my portfolio ahead of time.” She’d expected some sort of praise. Most first years were only just re-discovering that school was work, but she’d behaved and learned like they wanted.

“Portfolio?” He’d asked, still absorbed in his work.

“For Professor Watson. I’m in her design class, and everyone in my program needs to do one.” She’d explained patiently, assuming it was more of his absent-mindedness. 

“Professor Watson? Watson, Watson, Watson…” He muttered, obviously trying to place the name.

“She’s Head of Textiles.” Jan supplied, only to see a dismissive shrug. 

“Ah, and artsie.” Then he seemed to do a double take, and his head shot up. “You are an arts student?” He’d asked, like he couldn’t believe it, and she’d flinched.

“Um, yeah. Fashion Design. My parents…”

“An artsie.” He’d repeated, looking disappointed, unhappy, and very slightly disgusted. “You’re an artsie.” He’d shaken his head and gone back to his work, more turned away from her now than he’d ever been while she was in his office. “At least now I know why you don’t have to study. You’re in an arts program.”

She’d felt tears spring to her eyes, and had left.

She propped herself up against the wall outside and let out a shuddery breath, refusing to let herself cry. She shook, and thought of Tony for the first time in months. Tony wouldn’t let this stop him! He had much worse, with people saying nasty things about him and trying to keep him away from his dreams. If he can do it, I can do it!

She took deep breaths until she calmed down, then went to find Professor Watson. She had questions to ask, and that would be the lady to ask them of.  
*  
“Well, that’s unsusual.” Professor Watson had said, looking over Jan with a critical eye. “Are you just doing it for a boy? Because I have to warn you, that never works out.”

“No ma’am.” Jan replied, trying to stay brave. “I’ve always loved biology, but my parents didn’t think science was an appropriate hobby or field for a girl.”

The woman had hummed thoughtfully, twirling one strand of bright red hair. “Could I convince you to try a double major? You’re a huge asset to my department, and I don’t want to lose you.” 

Jan blushed. She hadn’t considered that. “Can I get back to you on that? I know it’s far too late for me to switch majors for this year, but I just didn’t want you to reserve a second year spot for me if I won’t be returning. No sense messing with other people’s hearts just to follow mine.”

The Professor nodded. “Speak with your parents and Professor McCoy, then set up an appointment with a guidance councillor. We’ll sort this out.”  
*  
Professor McCoy was ecstatic. “Of course, my dear! I’ve been hoping, since you’re so interested in the subject, that we could seduce you over.” He obviously meant with the science, but Jan thought of green eyes and flushed anyway.  
*  
Her parents were less impressed. The phone call was long, painful, and eventually devolved into a screaming match. Basically, her parents had thought she was ‘over that phase’, and blamed her University for rekindling it. They were pulling her out. Even when she desperately bargained to stay and finish her BA, they stood firm. She was going home. She could finish her BA there. 

She hated to leave, but what else was there to do? It was too late for her to apply for scholarships, especially since she’d have to pay for housing and food herself too. Student loans were based on how much your parents made, so she wasn’t going to be getting any help there either. She simply didn’t have anyone to turn to. Even Professors Watson and McCoy couldn’t do anything.

For one brief moment she’d thought of asking Tony… But no. He hadn’t recognized her the last time she’d seen him, and her family wasn’t rich enough for him to bother to look up other times. She could say ‘for science’… But no. Tony was on his own as well, thanks to that really odd will his father had made.  
*  
She didn’t realize why she kept thinking of Tony until she’d been home for almost a month, sulking in her room when she wasn’t trying to convince her parents to change their minds. That was when she realized they’d taken one of her more unique gown designs to a seamstress. There was a week of fittings, because she was going to one of the high society parties.

Where she was supposed to find herself a husband.

“Now, dear, that nice Tiberius Stone will be there. And that sweet Hammer kid. Jason? No, Justin, right? Anthony Stark, too, of course, but he’s a bit of a gamble at the moment…”

Jan had stared at her mother in shock. “Mama, I’m eighteen! Marriage and babies are not at the top of my priorities at the moment!” She had plans for her future, and they didn’t involve that sort of biology!

“Nonsense, dear. You’re a young lady. What else is there?”  
*  
She wasn’t expected back until very late, so she knew her parents weren’t going to be waiting up for her. She’d never been so glad her house was so large. There was no way for such small sounds as she’d make to travel all the way to her parents’ room. 

There wasn’t much to take. Some clothes, stuff appropriate for everyday wear for regular, middle-class girls. An extra suitcase with the really nice stuff she could take to a consignment shop. Some jewellery that meant something, like the necklace her cousin had bought her and the earrings Tony had sent for her Sweet Sixteen (he hadn’t attended and she was pretty sure he’d never seen the earing, either, but they reminded her of him. She sorely needed heroes at the moment). Some that didn’t, like various bangles, rings, and chains that she’d gotten for birthdays and Christmases over the years. Those were destined for the pawn shop. 

Jan had never had a job, and was prepared for it to be a learning curve. She wasn’t going to be able to use her credit card any more after tonight, and she didn’t want to starve while she was finding her feet. 

She also packed her portfolio (she was still proud of what she’d done, and she might need it to get back into the industry if she ever got the chance) and two books. One had been given to her upon her graduation by her favourite teacher, while the other was her biology textbook from first semester. Hank had written notes in the margins, underlined things, and placed post-its on the important pages for her. 

Thus prepared, she slunk out to her car. Tony’s on his own as well she thought as she slowly backed down the driveway, a silent goodbye for her home and family in her tears. He’d gone to school on scholarships, since he couldn’t afford MIT with impudence like he should have been able to. He’d lived in dorms, and had bad apartments, and was even now working for a paycheck like a regular Joe.

If he could do it, so could she. If the only other option was to be traded off for prestige and to live as a trophy wife, then she really had no choice.  
*  
She deliberately left her car in a tow-away zone with a note for her parents. She’d already gotten a cash advance for more than she was really comfortable carrying, so she left the credit card in there too. Both were too easy to trace.

There was a cheap hotel only a few blocks away, so that was where she would spend the night. Tomorrow she’d move to a hostel in the Downtown, visit a consignment store she’d found by accident with some friends that her mother didn’t know about, call the police to tell them it was a family quarrel and she wasn’t actually missing, then destroy her SIM card and pawn her iPhone. 

She’d figure the rest out after.  
*  
In the end it was her cheerful nature that got her a job, though she decided then and there that she hadn’t been nice enough to waitresses before. It was only part time, but she managed to get another part time in a used book store. The pay wasn’t great and there were no tips, but she was finally freely allowed to read anything she wanted. 

When the fall came, she’d looked at her savings, looked at her time commitments, and had resigned herself to not being able to attend school again quite yet. Even when she did, and she was determined she would, it would likely be a small, local college instead of the well-known university of before.

Her parents were looking, but there wasn’t much they could do. She’d covered her trail well, and calling the police meant that they couldn’t help. Jan was sorry she was hurting them, but she wasn’t going to let them sign her life away, even if it was in the name of ‘good for her’. She knew she’d give in eventually if she went home, and she was afraid her whole life would turn into the dull monotony of high school instead of the incredible experience of university.   
*  
She’d followed all the safety protocols (no headphones, phone away, stick to well-lit areas, get a look at people you pass without staring), but still she was here, getting mugged. From the look of them, she wasn’t sure she’d get away with just giving up her money. 

She was tired, it was late, and this money was supposed to be getting saved up for school. She wasn’t even buying clothing, really, instead having invested in an old sewing machine from she’d found online. She rarely picked up treats like ice cream and cookies. She bought whatever was on sale at the grocery store. She had plans, and was sticking with them with the same intensity she’d put into her studies (for all the good her 3.8 did her now). No way in Hell she letting these assholes get between her and her dreams.

There were two of them, big and unimaginative. She wouldn’t assume stupid, but she certainly wasn’t betting on smart. On her side she had only herself, 5’3” of spunky determination. Not exactly even odds, but they weren’t expecting resistance.

She fumbled her keys out of her pocket, hiding the motion with her bag. There were only two keys and a bright blue lizard bottle opener on it, but that was enough. She fanned them between her fingers, giving her mock-claws. Then she attacked.

She went for the one that had done the talking, springing at his face. He raised his hands, but too slowly. They toppled when she hit him with her body, his stance unbraced and unbalanced. She slashed at his face while they went over, drawing a cry from him. His hands were waving ineffectually as he instinctively tried to both protect his eyes and brake his fall. He did neither, and his head hit the pavement with a sickening crunch. She tried to jump away, but got caught and ended up awkwardly sprawling next to him in the alley they’d pulled her into.

She tensed, expecting a kick or something, but nothing met her except an amused chuckle. She looked up to the second thug being dropped, unconscious, to the street and a tall, muscled, blonde man moving over to squat next to her. 

Jan squeaked and scuttled back, but the man only laughed lightly yet again and held up his hands in a gesture of peace. “Be not afraid, little one. I have no intent to harm you.” His voice was deep, smooth, and had some strong accent that enhanced the words. He spoke crisply, but with an odd diction she chalked up to not being a native speaker. “I merely wished to assure myself that you had not been harmed by these foul creatures. Are you in distress?”

She thought about the question. She was still tired, hungry, and annoyed, but her fatigue had fled, replaced with her anger. Her hand hurt where the keys had dug into the tender webbing between her fingers. Her knees were scraped from hitting the pavement. There was a slight ache in her left shoulder that she assumed meant her attacker had landed a glancing blow in his flailings. “No. No, I’m alright. How about you?”

He continued to grin (seriously, this guy was even more cheerful than Jan herself) but stood and extended his hands to her while he answered. “Nay, my lady. I admit that I attacked your assailant from behind. Though normally a cowardly tactic, he was focussed on you and I considered your safety paramount.” She looked at him for a long moment, but neither his hands nor his grin wavered. She shrugged mentally and took them, letting him pull her to her feet.

“I don’t think any less of you for it, promise.” She replied, giving him a matching grin while she wiped her hands off on her shorts. “I’m Jan, by the way.” She held out her hand.

“A pleasure.” He replied, taking it in both of his massive paws. “I am known as…”

“Thor!” Came a different voice as another big man came to the front of the alley. “There you are! We’re due back…” He glanced around, taking in everything, before turning back to her rescuer with an exasperated scowl. “What have you done this time?”

“Ah, well, this young lady was ambushed most foully by these cowards, and…” She tuned him out, getting a better look at both of them. Both tall, broad, and fit. Both golden-blonde with blue eyes. The looked like a pair of gorgeous matching bookends, but there were enough differences that Jan figured they weren’t related, or at least not closely. Both were older than her, the lines around his eyes causing her to peg her rescuer at close to thirty, while the newcomer appeared younger, probably not much past twenty-five or so. She realized with a start that they were still arguing, and tuned back in.

“… A very valiant lass, fighting like that wasp that you pair with the… Hmm… Papillion? Moth?”

“… I don’t care, and he won’t either! She’s a lady, not a puppy you can take home like that!”

“She would be a valuable addition…”

“You can’t just recruit people! We have regulations for exactly this reason!”

They were talking over each other, so Jan finally cleared her throat loudly. Both of them snapped their heads towards her, and she tilted her chin up and gave them her most regal glare. “Thank you for your consideration, but I’m afraid I’m quite busy and entirely incapable of joining your neighborhood watch or whatever it is. Now, if you don’t mind, it’s late and I have work in the morning.” She nodded at them and walked between them, only for the newer one to call out and startle her.

“Wait a moment, miss.” He said, and she looked back over at him as soon as her heart went back to its usual position. “Would you like us to walk you to your door? We’d feel awful if anything happened to you, and they might have friends.” He looked incredibly earnest, and she found herself agreeing quickly.

“If it’s no trouble.” She replied, and they came up to flank her. “Though, if you try any funny business I will scream.”  
*  
She ran into Thor occasionally just because they lived in the same area, and they took to getting coffee after she’d bought him one in thanks the second time they’d met. 

It was Steve, however, that she’d somehow really interacted with.  
*  
She hadn’t done anything wrong, but it was her word against a rich customer’s, and he hadn’t appreciated her not letting him take liberties with her body. 

It was awful, because she only got a few hours a week at the book store. She needed this job, and there weren’t a lot around. There were tears in her eyes, which she would later blame for not noticing the big, blonde, slab of meat she walked into until his hands were holding her up after she bounced off his chest.

“Sorry about that, miss, sorry, I was just… Hey! Hey, no, it’s okay, don’t cry! Umm… here!” She found an old-fashioned cloth handkerchief thrust at her and took it on autopilot, swiping angrily at her tears. Then she was being pressed into sitting. He was still babbling something at her, but she tuned him out. He sounded familiar, but she just really couldn’t be bothered to pay attention at the moment.

Another voice joined the first, and what smelled like a Caramel Latte was pushed towards her. The familiar scent of a sweet, flavoured coffee drink brought back memories of being a teenager. If Tony can handle this, so can I she found herself thinking for the first time in months, though she’d used it as a mantra commonly in the early days of her new life.

The thought strengthened her. She took a deep, shuddery breath and felt her tears dry up. She found herself looking into two pairs of very worried eyes, blue and brown. The brown-eyed man, who also had dark hair to match, nodded approvingly and poked the cup closer to her. “Glad to see you’re alright, miss. I was worried for a moment there that this punk,” He slugged his friend lightly in emphasis, “Had broken you. You drink up, I was only expecting to meet one person here today.” He gave her a wink and headed towards the counter of the café she finally noticed they were sitting outside. 

His friend stared at her worriedly. “Are you alright, miss? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 

She hastened to reassure him, reporting in as few words as possible what had just happened. He looked horribly affronted, but that was just when she put two and two together, cutting off any response he might have made. “You’re Thor’s friend, from that one night!”

He ducked his head, an adorable blush spreading across his cheeks. “Yes, ma’am. That would be me. Thor says you go for coffee sometimes.”

“When we run into each other and have some free time.” She replied, shrugging. She picked up her coffee and sipped, feeling better at every taste.

He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment before leaning closer. “I’ve got a friend who needs another hand at their business. If you’d like, I could talk to them about you…” He trailed off meaningfully, and she gaped at him. Before she could ask if he was serious, his friend came back and plopped himself down.

“The Corner Pub, yes?” He asked the blonde, getting a nod before turning back to Jan. “Owner’s a sweet little old lady. Her husband owned it before he passed away. She’s not a bartender, though. Can’t move fast enough to keep up with the rush. There’s one guy who works there already, but she really does need a second set of hands. Less for her to do, you know?” Jan nodded her understanding, but he continued on without acknowledging the motion. “Thor says you’re friendly, cheerful, and polite. If you can learn quickly and memorize things you’ll go far as a bartender. The less people have to repeat what’s in the shot they want, the happier they are.” He snapped his fingers and stood, looking like and idea had just come to him. “Actually, let’s go there now. May should meet you, and if she likes you then you can start tonight.” The blonde got her chair as she went to rise, and she thanked him softly, ignoring his chattering friend.

“I’m Steve, by the way.” He said, holding his hand out to shake. “We never were introduced. This troublemaker here’s Bucky.”

“Jan.” She replied.  
*  
It only took her a month to figure out that she was supposed to be picking up the gossip and transferring it to May, which she did. It was two more months before she mentioned it to her employer, trading on a particularly juicy tidbit from a young man who feared for his job after discovering through walking in on them that a prominent city councilman’s ‘mistress’ was actually his young, male aid. That was a problem because he knew the crowd that voted for him, and they weren’t especially known for being gay-friendly. It had taken quite a bit of booze and a particularly sweet smile to get him to part with that tidbit, and she was feeling rather proud of herself.

May had looked her over carefully, listened to her proposal (she wanted in on it, if she was to be part of something. Not like with her college biology course. All in, or all out), then called Steve. She’d pitched her proposal to Steve then, and he’d quizzed her on all sorts of things. He was biting his lip at the end of the interview, and Jan assumed her most adorable expression in an attempt to convince him.

“Alright.” He’d finally said, looking like he was biting a lemon. “If you’re sure. Just be very, very aware of what your decision means. This is not an easy path, nor one that forgives mistakes.” She nodded, and his mouth twisted again. “There is a self-defence course funded through a woman’s aid group on Wednesdays. We approve of the instructor. She can be your teacher in the basics of combat.” He fixed her with a steely gaze. “Even if you’re never doing… Missions, for lack of a better word, you’ll need to know how to defend yourself. For now, just keep doing what you’re doing here. Anything else we need you to do, we’ll contact you through this place.” 

She’d nodded, and that was that. She was now one of the Howling Commandoes, though she didn’t even know the name for a while yet.   
*  
What she could help them with turned out to be their uniforms. It was a quiet night, only two people in the bar. Out of boredom she started doodling on a napkin, as surprised as May was when the lady peered curiously over her shoulder to find that she’d designed sleek, practical, and comfortable mission uniforms. Flat seams, pockets more convenient than normal, a breathable, moveable cut, special gorget in the high collar, and specially reinforced ribbing that looked an awful lot like metal whalebone to protect things like thighs and biceps, things more likely to be slashed than shot, were all featured.

“Can you make that?” May had asked, voice awed, and Jan nodded. “Use yourself as a model. What do you need for supplies?” She made a list, and it was in her apartment the next morning. She smiled and got to work.  
*  
The new uniforms worked like a charm, though she was always tweaking them. They were expensive, so only a handful of special agents got them, but there were non-customized ones in various sizes that would fit most of the mobsters somewhat just in case.

There was no getting rid of her after that. She even got moved out of her apartment and into May’s house, with a room for her sewing set up.  
*  
She didn’t know her leader’s name was General Phillips and that he had at one time been in the military, until he died in an attack by Hydra. Natasha Romanov, who had been her self-defence teacher and was one of the few with a personalized jumpsuit, and Bucky had been teaching her to fight, a skill she picked up with ease, thanks to years of dance. So she was in the attack force, led by their new boss, the Captain.

Also known as Steve.

He called her Van Dyne now, though, called everyone by their last names. He implemented rotating housing and insisted everyone have a slightly scaled back version of the jumpsuit. He cared about his people first, often going out of his way to accommodate special requests. They responded just as well, turning what had been a life into a passion. It was now, when the group felt like a family more than anything, that Jan realized she truly had made the right decisions. This, with the HC, was where she belonged. There was even another biologist, a Ph.D., who was more than willing to teach her.

She still thought of Hank, now and then. Still loved him, despite everything. She thought of Tony more rarely, but comforted herself over the more nasty bits of her job with the knowledge that he had also left behind high society for his morals and freedom.  
*  
She hadn’t thought of him at all for probably two years, but her heart still clenched when she saw Tony Stark as a missing person on the evening news one night while cleaning the bar. She worried for him, since not even the Brotherhood, one of their allies, were as kind as the HC (who could still be quite cruel if crossed, she knew). And Tony refused to build weapons. She almost wished he were dead, it would be kinder than if he was a captive. She was twenty-three this year. Tony was only twenty-five.

She stared up at her ceiling that night and thought about it. Should she really still care that much about a kid she’d spoken to twice in her life? She had all these marvelous people in her life now, couldn’t one of them be her hero? Natasha, with her deadly skills. Carol, with her easy command presence and no-nonsense approach to missions. Steve, their Captain, who loved them all like his children. Wouldn’t one of them work?  
*  
“Bruce! Clint! Hide me!”

“She saw you duck behind us! That’s not going to work. And we aren’t going to take her on for you. There are limits to even our friendship!”

“What did you say to her anyway?”

She could pick out Clint and Bruce’s voices, and figured the other must be the new guy she’d heard so much about. A hacker and an engineer, but carrying dangerous baggage with him. She’d been curious, but caught up in a new glove design intended to give maximum movement and grip without preventing any motion or impeding tactile searches. She lingered in the doorway for a moment, just watching the dark-haired man banter with the two she knew.

“I implied that I know great ways to work out stress, and that Romanov was just as tense. So then I suggested we find Romanov and a handy broom closet, and I could direct.” 

“Or I could just take you down to the gym and teach you what we know that you don’t. Romanov could direct.” Maria Hill said, drawing Jan’s eye to where she was standing. “The Captain won’t protect you from that.”

“I’m not expecting Cap to protect me from you.” The man declared snootily, and Jan assumed the pause was so he could stick out his tongue. “I was expecting Clint to protect me, but he’s obviously an unreliable friend.” He looked around, and Jan noticed the neat goatee and bright blue eyes she’d recognize anywhere. “You agree, don’t you sweetheart?” He asked her with puppy eyes and she laughed.

He was sleeping with the Captain, capable of making Natasha and Maria laugh, and a part of her family.

Tony Stark was definitely her hero.

**Author's Note:**

> I will say this right now: There is as much snobbery from science majors towards 'artsies' in university as there ever was towards the science geeks in high school. From what I've seen, Hank's reaction is knee-jerk approprite for someone in his position, though unprofessional and unfair. He's not actually annoyed or dusgusted *with Jan*, just with that her talents are being wasted on a BA insted of used for a BS. The rest of his actions are just Jan's teenaged, love-struck inpression, and not meant to be taken that way. He's just focussed, so going back to his work is just what he'd *do*, especially when the 'real world' was being confusing.
> 
> As for her parents, I know nothing about them and they're the 'villains' simply because someone needs to be.


End file.
